2 posts tagged “writing style”

Dear everybody,

I would take it as a personal favor if all of you stopped using the false subjunctive in your writing.  I've tried to be patient, but no more.  As of today, I will no longer accept ignorance as an excuse--let this letter serve as your warning.

Duly_noted

The subjunctive mood in English is sometimes also referred to as the conditional, because it often describes a situation that would occur only if certain conditions were met.  (The subjunctive mood is also useful when you wish to discuss a proposal, a request, a regret, or a demand.)  The subjunctive, and with it the conditional verbs (would, could, should, and ought), do not describe situations which have already occurred in the past.  English has a variety of verb tenses to address things which have happened, but the subjunctive/conditional is not among them. 

For example: If I were a violent person, I would be tempted to slap people who use the false subjunctive.  Luckily for everyone, I am not.  See how that describes a situation where nothing has happened, because a condition for action wasn't met? 

Here is the incorrect example that set me off this morning, from an article on CNN, about some cave explorers who became lost:

By 1 a.m. Sunday, 12 hours into their journey, the explorers realized they were out of food. At times over the next 36 hours, two at a time would venture to find an exit and try to stay in contact with the others by yelling.

The rest tried to take turns resting, using their backpacks to shield them from the cold floor. For water, they would find puddles in rock crevices or lick droplets from the ceiling.

Even if something happened on a regular basis in the past, you still need to use the past tense.  Not When I was a kid, we would ride our bikes everywhere, but When I was a kid, we rode our bikes everywhere.  (And Margaret Atwood--shame on you.  You probably never got my letter, but you know better and using the false subjunctive for stylistic purposes is just tedious for the reader.)

Between text messaging, MTV, and the chavs of the world, English has taken a lot of damage in the last 50 years.  Please, don't kick it while it's down.  Sure, when you use the false subjunctive, people still know what you mean, but it's useless clutter.  It's completely unnecessary in conversation, but it's nearly unforgiveable in the written word.  It is the writing equivalent of including every um, uh, and like that we carelessly use in conversation.

If you were so kind as to follow these guidelines, I would be ever so grateful.

Redzilla

The Vox Hunt and the QotD are so closely related today that I'm going to hit them together.  (In fact, I'm gonna hit it and quit.  Can I hit it and quit?)

I'll do Vox Hunt one better and show you not one, but two of my favorite fictional works.  They are not my favorites--I've already plugged those.  They just happen to be two books that I enjoyed immensely and want to share:

Limbo

Dodge_the_steamroller

Limbo has been out of print for more than 20 years.  The edition I have is a battered paperback off a cheap press in 1981.  The first edition hardbacks sell used for more than $100, and even the tattered paperbacks sell for $20+.  As many reviewers have observed: it's not the greatest book ever written, and as far as writing goes, George Orwell will always come out on top of Bernard Wolfe.  That said, Limbo is a great dystopian sci-fi work, of the same era as Orwell's 1984.  1984 was published in 1948, Limbo in 1951, but they were both written about the same time.  (Maybe I feel some kinship with Wolfe over his difficulties in getting published, too.)  In some ways, it's more accessible than 1984, and it's certainly a bit more morbid fun.  Lots of stuff to think about, too, including violence, pacifism, war, disarmament, dope, mental illness, and the war between the sexes.

London Fields

1 comment

Darts_groupie

As for why I can't get a graphic on the Martin Amis book--go figure.  London Fields is still in print, but it is not for the squeamish.  It's like joy-riding in a stolen car with a pair of coked-up hookers, right before you plow into a pub full of darts players.  (Not that I would know about that precisely.)  The language is crazy-wonderful and the characters just this side of Hunter S. Thompson.  Amis knows what he's doing at every turn.  As chaotic as the book is, there's never any sense that Amis isn't 100% in control of what happens next.

And that leades me to the the Question of the Day: If I could write like one fiction author, who would it be?  My honest, slightly snarky, response is: no one.  I like my own writing style and I wouldn't trade it to write like anyone else.  That may sound a bit conceited and over-confident for someone who thusfar has only very small publishing credits, but it's true.  I wouldn't want anyone else's writing style, not even that of my favorite writers.

That said, Martin Amis is someone whose style I admire a great deal.  There is a lustful, rollicking quality to his prose that makes my heart beat faster.  Even when he's writing about something as mundane as visiting the widow of Vladimir Nabakov, he's whipping his word choice and syntax into a froth.  Some people think he's too excessive, but that's like saying whipped cream is too excessive.  He grapples with words you may have seen only a handful of times in print in your entire life, and he makes them work for him.  Although I wouldn't trade my style for his, I do hope that I can learn from him that greedy, exuberant use of language.