7 posts tagged “taxes”

Just got back from lunch.  (Yes, I had the Heart Attack on a Plate with Side Salad.)  Part of my change included one of these babies:

I didn't even know the mint was planning to release a District of Columbia quarter. At first, I was all excited.  Oooh, shiny and new and Duke Ellington.  Then I remembered about how the good folks of DC (the regular citizens who live there, not the politicians) don't have a voting representative in Congress.

So, what is this? A consolation prize? Oh, hey, sorry about how democracy isn't really working out for you, but look: your own quarter!

I'm just disappointed it doesn't have the DC motto their license plates have:

And how are we going to patch the hole?

I don't ask this because I have an answer.  I ask because I want an answer.

I don't know whether a bailout of the financial system is good or bad, smart or stupid, because no one seems to be able to tell me exactly what will be done with all of that money.  Or what we'll do to prevent a repeat of this.

Here's the situation as I understand it.  The federal government will take somewhere near a TRILLION dollars and use it to purchase all some bad debt currently held by private banks and investment firms.  Most of the bad debt is mortgage debt on properties in danger of foreclosure, brought about by reckless mortgage lending.

Now, from where I'm standing, this sounds like nationalized banking, for a country who declared itself too good for nationalized health care.

My question is: how is this all going to work?  The banks who made all the stupid loans, who were supposed to be responsible for vetting potential borrowers, do they just get to pocket the money and walk away from their screw up?  Basically, am I and my fellow taxpayers purchasing mortgage securities on mortgages that will never be repaid?  Are we planning to do something to address the fact that the borrowers on those mortgages are still in over their heads, owing more money on a house than it's worth, with no hope of selling it?  Is there a plan to allow these people to refinance under terms they can manage?  Is there a plan to address the fact that housing values have plummeted?  Since I'm buying up these bad debts, will I see dividends if they are ever paid off?  

When is someone going to explain all of this in simple terms, so folks like me can understand?  Obviously Bush can't do that, but don't they have someone who can?  All Bernanke and Paulson have talked about is why we need to commit to the bailout.  Neither of them have much to say about how the bailout will be implemented or how it will work.  Are they too afraid to talk about the practical aspects of it?  I'm not the smartest person in the world, but I do pretty well.  I think if they explained it to me, I could understand, and I think they owe to me.  They owe it to everyone whose tax dollars would be spent on the bailout.

On the radio yesterday, I heard Arnold Schwarzenegger playing word games involving the livelihoods of state employees in California.  As the economy tanks, the Governator is looking for ways to save money that don't involve raising taxes.  His solution: cut the salaries of state employees.  In some cases, lowering wages to $6.55/hour, the federally mandated minimum wage.

Help me, here, because I don't quite understand how this is different from a tax.  If you tax me, you take money out of my paycheck.  If you cut my salary, you take money out of my paycheck.  What's the diff?

Oh, right, the difference is that in this scenario, which Schwarzie claims will save the state $1.2 billion per month, the only people being taxed are state employees.  Everybody else gets a free ride, including the governor, who gets to claim he hasn't raised taxes. 

$6.55 an hour.  Think about that one.  I don't know how much money you make, but I don't make a lot.  Hubbicula laughed when he saw our tax return from last year.  Still, $6.55 an hour is less than half what I make as a humble state employee.  At $6.55 an hour, I wouldn't be able to pay my bills, let alone pay my mortgage, or keep the kittens in kibble.  Never mind keeping Hubbicula in college.

Before you even start on state employees, I'll say it for you: we're lazy, incompetent, indifferent, reckless, and greedy.  Fine, agreed.  The only question is: do you want my job?  No, I didn't think so.  We state employees may be the bottom of the barrel, but we were willing to take the jobs nobody else wanted.  No matter how grudgingly and slowly, we provide important services.  Without us, your kids don't get educated, your paperwork doesn't get pushed, and your highway medians don't get mowed.  We guard you while you sleep. Do not... fuck with us.

It's amazing what a little down time with a good friend, a walk, a beer, and a good eight hours of sleep will do for your outlook on life.  In retrospect, I shoulda had the beer earlier.  A lot of people who felt my wrath yesterday might have been spared*.  Alas, all those "no drinking at work" rules.  Hell, we're not even allowed to bring guns to work anymore.  New University policy.   Babies.

Today, I'm just trying to pace myself.  Do a little work.  A little writing.  A little blogging.  A little sitting around, feeling relieved that the rest of my week won't be so hellish.  I'm gonna try not to feel all the relief at once, though.  Better to spread it around, enjoy it for a few weeks instead of burning it all up today.

*Specifically, middle aged woman in the post office last night, who reminded me of my mother-in-law.  Sure, it was the tax deadline and you were dithering in front of the postal robot, saying, "Well, I don't know what to push," and I needed to buy stamps to mail my money to the IRS, and I'd already had a bad day.  However, there probably wasn't any call for me to say, "The reason the fucking screen has words on it is so you can read them and figure out which button to push."  That was probably over the line.  So, I'm sorry I was such a douche. 

fucker.

Can you say motherfucker, kids?  Very good. 

Fuck the IRS. 

Fuck people's failure to plan ahead--including my own. 

Fuck Honors Ceremonies. 

Fuck broken photocopiers and the motherfucking repairmen who can't fix them. 

Fuck the long line of people waiting outside my office needing shit from me.  You motherfucking bitches had best step off before I end your useless motherfucking PhD lives.

Shit.  No wonder the Titanic sank today.  I would sink that showboating, bigass motherfucker myself. 

I wish it were one or the other--today I'd pick death.  Okay, fine, yes, let that stand as my character note for today's installment of Redzilla Theater: I still haven't done my taxes.  Normally, I have them done at least a month out, but this year, I don't know.  I just keep looking at the little pile of W-2's and student loan statements and mortgage papers and I don't wanna. 

Also, I don't want to print a hundred certificates for the department's honors ceremony that's tomorrow night.  Also, two hundred programs for the same.  Also, payroll paperwork for the summer.

In short, today is a Death of Slack day, when I must work and earn money, on which I will pay taxes.  It's time's like this my parents' basement looks pretty good.

Apparently, I didn't pay any taxes last year. Or that's what Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert says. According to Representative Anus Assfart, I don't pay taxes. Lucky me.

While debating the House's budget proposal, he said, "Well, folks, if you earn $40,000 a year and have a family of two, you don't pay any taxes. So you probably if you don't pay any taxes, you are not going to get a big tax cut." Uh...did I miss that page in the IRS' tax prep book?

I'm a church secretary, married to a disabled vet who's in college. We made less than $40,000 last year, and despite what Dennis says, we paid about $3,000 in taxes. Maybe because we didn't have his tax preparer working for us...

That's is where we are in this country--the people who are supposed to represent us don't even know what our lives are like. Plus, they don't even care about correcting their ignorance. Surely he's got someone in his office who could have done a little research to find out the truth about this, but he didn't. Probably he never will, because he's not in the business of making policy based on facts. He's in the business of making policy based on corporate interests, and it suits their interests to pretend that people like me are already living cushy tax-free lives.

Oh, and I don't want to forget Rush Limbaugh, who said, "I went to Mexico last year and I thought about sneaking back in over the border as an illegal so as to escape punitive taxes." Haw haw haw. Oh, he's clever, isn't he? Yes, life is so hard when you're a tax-paying multi-millionaire. Come on, Rush, isn't it more likely you went to Mexico thinking about sneaking back over the border with a suitcase full of Oxycontin?

Look at these two smug, bloated-on-the-sweat-of-the-working-class bastards. Fucking fucks. My paycheck wouldn't cover their Little Debbie Snack Cake bills.

If such a thing as karma existed, these two would die of colo-rectal cancer. Or in deadly combat with each other over the last Oatmeal Creme Pie on the planet.