Something unspeakable has happened
No, I'm not pregnant. Stop it with that, okay?
I do, however, have an electrician. He's at the house *right now* doing electrically things. Shhh ... don't scare him away. These Kansas electricians are delicate, shy little creatures.
Oh, the unspeakable, you wanna know about that?
I got my new Rammstein CD. It is full of delicious guitar crunchiness and snarling vocals and ... Edith Piaf. For reals. That's not what's unspeakable, though. I love Edith Piaf. What's so horrific is that I think Till Lindemann isn't just my Armageddon Fuck* anymore. As long as he's willing to sing Edith Piaf songs, I might, just maybe, possibly want him to call me the morning after the world ends. If you're scared to click on it and listen, don't be. This song is fairly quiet and suspiciously ballad-like.
Oh, non, rien de rien / Oh, no, nothing at all.
Oh, non, je ne regrette rien / Oh, no, I regret nothing.
Till has a little difficulty wrapping his mouth around the French, but it all sounds lovely, replete with roaring guitars.
*For those of you not familiar with the concept of Armageddon Fuck™ let me 'splain. The AF is a person whom on a surface, conscious level you find disgusting. Not merely unattractive from an aesthetic viewpoint, because sometimes the AF is physically attractive to other people, but a person whose behavior or general demeanor or social status or public personna repulses you. No way you would ever want to have sex with that person ... unless the world were going to end in the next hour or so and you knew you would never have to see the AF again and he/she would never call you. One shot, death imminent, a chance to fulfill all your most embarrassing, skankiest sexual fantasies. Because secretly, subconsciously, you really do find that person attractive.
As an example of the concept: a certain relative of mine who shall remain nameless, her Armageddon Fuck is Leonardo DeCaprio. Now plenty of people find him attractive and plenty of them would be happy to have him call the morning after, but my sister unnamed relative finds him kind of skeavy and way too popular. Unless the world were going to end. The lead singer of Rammstein, however, is the prototype Armageddon Fuck. I find him physically repellent. I like big bruisers, especially with a little gut, but he's a greasy, sweaty, hairy, sneering, contemptuous, chain-smoking *shudder*. Except when he opens his mouth and sings. He can count to four and make me weak in the knees.
I must go rock out. More on Rammstein and the house develops tomorrow.
Comments
I hadn't heard the term Armageddon Fuck, nor really thought about it much, but now it will be fun to consider who the candidate(s) would be. Snerk.
I did have a strange dream awhile ago that I was kissing two guys I work with and it turned out the one I wouldn't have wanted to kiss in the first place was a much better kisser than the one I always have thought I would want to kiss. That was a pleasant surprise even though it was just kissing. :)
*whispers* yay for the electrician!
What happens if you happen to accidentally sleep with someone who (had you been sober at the time) you would have considered to be an AF? Does this bring on the armageddon event, in a world spiralling out of control sense? Or is this just the reason we have the phrase "I hate myself"?
Don't judge... Many of us have done it at some point.