Santa's lap--DON'T DO IT!!!
Would you let your child sit on this man's lap?
If the answer is yes, come closer, so I can smack you. Joey the Rat makes one super-duper creepy Santa Claus. It doesn't help that he looks like a zombie. (Say, Timmy, maybe you can give Santa a present, too. Your brain!!!) Also, I may be creeped out by the fact that he's the main guru of a cult with a long history of child molestation. So, just do us all a favor: if your mall Santa looks like this, don't let the kiddies sit on his lap.
Comments
If I saw Santa that looked like him at the mall, I would probably hit a fire alarm to clear the building. Ew ew ew.
"See that man? If you're not good, you'll have to sit in his lap. And he'll look at you with his dead, dead eyes. Is that what you want? Is it?"
Should do the trick.
Although, it's more, um, stiff and pointy, not round and squooshy.
What is it about teh pontiffs that they all look embalmed?