I don't drive to the bathroom either

Apr 29, 2008 at 1:16 PM
52 comments

In the very near future, I'm going to have to change my automobile insurance provider, for reasons best not discussed here. (You know who you are.) So today, I've spent some time calling various insurance companies to get quotes. Here is part of the actual conversation I had with the American Family insurance agent:

Agent: Okay, then, you mostly use this vehicle for driving to work?
Me: I don't drive to work.

Agent: And how many miles a week do you drive to work?
Me: I don't drive to work.

Agent: So you are unemployed at this time. And your husband works where?
Me: I work at the University. I JUST DON'T DRIVE TO WORK.
Agent: (stunned silence)
Me: Not driving to work is not the same thing as not having a job.

Agent: Now you'll want rental coverage on this policy?
Me: No. Don't need it.
Agent: But if this vehicle were in the repair shop, you'd need a rental car to get to work.
Me: I still don't drive to work and you can't make me, even with your weird cultural pressure to conform.
Agent: (stunned silence)

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... wow, they really don't want your business.

Awesome!

..so how far do you drive to work?

[this is good]

ooooh...my god.

ohhhhh my god!

LOL!

and you can't make me, even with your weird cultural pressure to conform.

I didn't even copy and paste that, I took the pleasure in typing it all out. it was that good.

Oh and PS

did you ever know that you're my hero?

you are the wind beneath my wings.

RedScylla replied to crankypants’ comment:
Apr 29, 2008
Reply

Yes, I suspect that he's hoping his isn't the lowest quote.

Redzilla, don't make these poor call-center-moneys THINK! They have to keep to their scripts! ;-)

That's what was so crazy--he's the actual insurance agent at a local agency, not a mile from my office. He just isn't prepared to deviate from his cultural expectation script.

Now ask him for a rider to cover your guns. I'm dying to see how that conversation turns out.

Oh no, we're in Kansas. THAT would be an easy conversation. He'd just ask how many guns and what kind.

:-O

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I used to work in the industry. There is a category known as "Pleasure". Of course, driving may just be a pain in the butt for you, so there may still be opportunities for rejoinder.

[ciò è buono]

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bwAAH!! [SNORK] hehehe

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We get that too...our insurance doesn't even give you an option for "no commute", so they put us down as the minimum, "under 5km". Morons.

[this is good]

Fantastic. The dumbing of everyone is evident most, when they can't grasp a simple change to the routine.

[esto es genial]

I love the weird cultural pressure to conform bit. That just made my day.

I drive 8 miles to work. Think I'd get a discount? Nope. Did I mention that I hate Insurance Companies? I did? Oh, sorry then. But I do... LOL

Heh!

P.S. Don't get Allstate. Their agents rock, but their claims service is ROTTEN.

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LOL! That's hilarious.

Someone needs a refresher course on listening to the customer. :)

I'd like to second the "no allstate" policy. I had massive problems with them, from the agent, on down. I went with geico, which, besides being cheaper, both gives me more coverage, and has much, much better customer service. I think they employ a slightly higher grade of chimp.

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heh heh. we don't drive to work either. they really get confused by that....

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l
o
l

That's hilarious! I could almost hear the cogs turning in his head...

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Sweet LORD.

PAHAHAHAHA

the idiocy, it is everywhere

LOVE this! Mind if I borrow your line? I get this all the time, although not from insurance agents. I ride a bike. Everywhere. Don't own a car. Classic example: checking out at the supermarket line. I have my full riding gear on - helmet, reflective vest, ankle reflectors - and the packing person is (bemusedly) trying to fit everything into my panniers (where do these people learn how to pack groceries?). While I pay, they put the panniers on their trolley, ready to follow me out to my car. "It's ok, I'm on a bike." "Oh. Right." Huh, what might have been your first clue?

Ha! At my grocery store, I just get the stink eye for having canvas bags. The best line ever was when the bagger girl in this dead-pan, world-weary voice said, "Oh, look, she brought her own bags."

RedZ, you win the internets!

That's so weird, because there's usually an insurance discount for autos covered that you DON'T drive to work - then they typically get classified as a "leisure" vehicle, and can be insured at a lower rate (since you are driving them less and aren't usually on the road with them at peak traffic times).

I think some companies don't have this category, but do a "low mileage" discount (if you drive less than 10 miles to work - zero is less - or if you drive less than a certain number of miles total per year). Silly, though, to insist that you drive to work. I mean, what if you work from home?

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...do you drive your guns to work?

No, but I've shot my way to the bathroom before ;o)

I'm surprised they didn't offer to enshroud your canvas bags in plastic so you could carry them out.

I had an especially grumpy checker one time. She was grousing to the bagger about some new security policy, and she turned to me angrily. "Have YOU ever had to take a lie-detector test?"
"Not to buy pork chops."

She gave me the stink-eye during the remainder of our transaction.

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Nice! Sounds almost like an Abbott and Costello routine... :-) Gotta love it!

Oh Gob! I have to hear this story... ROFLMAO

I don't drive at all. I mean, I never learnt to drive - every time I tried, I crashed a car. After six attempts, I thought the world would be safer without me being behind the wheel.

Some people find it had to get their heads round that.

At least I don't need insurance to walk...

Bahaha.

You are a funny guy and "stink-eye" is a funny term.

Shame on you not sympathizing with your hardworking grocery checker! ;)

That's weird, because I thought pork chops were covered under the USA PATRIOT Act...

That's an interesting point. I'm one that's just conformed. I just say I drive 5km to work, which is sort of true, but the reality is that while my office is about 5km away, I drive there maybe once or twice a month to simply drop off my truck where it sits for 2 to 3 weeks while I take a company truck and disappear into the god-knows-where boonies. Personally I'd like to get a more comprehensive coverage based on my actual driving cycles, but how do I ask for insurance that only covers 2 weeks a month when I only might use it for 2 days, or perhaps in some rare cases the whole month... ?

Now are you sure you don't drive to work?

I just came here to comment =D

So what kind of car do you drive to work?

This was great --- thanks for the laugh Red

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And yes, most of the people really do have scripts they follow. I hate call centers with every fiber of my being.

Why don't you drive to work? Are you a commie or something, Red?

[this is good]

Hilarious!

I second the Geico suggestion. I had Progressive, then I found out my coworker with a car 10 years newer, worth 5x more, with a new driver on his policy, and with double the coverage was paying Geico 1/2 of what I was paying to Progressive. So now I have Geico too, and I pay 1/2 as much for 3x the coverage.

I know! By not driving everywhere, I am in fact helping the terrorists win.

lauowolf replied to RedScylla’s comment:
May 4, 2008
Reply

So give a terrorist a ride to work today.
It's the only patriotic thing to do.

RedScylla replied to lauowolf’s comment:
May 5, 2008
Reply

Now, Lauo, that's an honorable but misguided suggestion. You see, if we carpool, I'm helping the terrorists win, too.

Dang it.
This whole national security thing is more difficult than I realized.

What if she straps the terrorists to the roof? In the rain? Would that be like waterboarding and therefore, allowed?

I like it, Laurie. That's why you're gonna move up with this organization. Always thinking outside the Constitution. (Oh, right, you're Canadian ;o)

That's why I can play fast and loose with it -- it's not my Constitution.

Hold on now.;
We can't let some Canadian shred our Constitution faster than homegrown talent, that's unAmerican.
What'll they outsource next?

I don't drive to the bathroom either

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