The stupid get going--on cable news.
I don't imagine I have anything to say about the ridiculously low the quality of actual reporting that goes on with Fox and CNN, et al, that hasn't already been said. So I'll just leave you with a nice roundup. Warning--it's emotionally exhausting.
And, being Utah, I suppose we're living on a prayer, as well.
The state legislature out here is now officially on track for the majority of state agency offices to go to a four-day work week, starting in August. Which is about half-way to where I think we should all be.
The idea behind this is, naturally, to save money, primarily in energy costs--both for the gubment in electricity, etc., for buildings, and for workers, in terms of gas. I'm not sure how long it's supposed to last. It's a new idea, or I'd imagine they would've started this about 6 weeks ago, when the days of blazing sun began.
Now, this will still be a 40-hour work week--that's right, four 10-hour days. While I'm all for the four-day part of this, I think anyone who's ever worked admin will tell you that productivity's gonna go to shit in the last 3 hours of the day--particularly the fourth day, me thinks.
Personally, I've been pulling for the 24-hour work week for years now. Four days a week, six hours a day. Replace the standard 1-hour lunch with a thirty-minute break.
I like this for a number of reasons.
1) I believe this will actually slightly improve productivity. Not only do I think the final three hours of a 10-hour day will be somewhat wasted--I think about an hour and a half of the eight-hour day is usually down time. If I go in at 9 and know I'm out by 3:30, I can just concentrate on the work. Or at least surf porn with real intensity.
2) The last thing Americans need right now is more time to eat during the day. Snarky, I know.
3) Saves energy. Just like we do here in Utah.
4) Provides people with time to actually get out of town. Right now, weekend get-a-ways tend to work like this:
-Friday: Rush home from work, pack everything in the car, and drive, drive, drive.
-Saturday: Spend morning recovering from driving. Try to have some fun.
-Sunday: Spend morning nursing hangover. Spend afternoon trying to have some fun, while constantly rejiggering what time you need to take off again. Arrive home around 2:00 a.m.
-Monday: Waste morning at office staring, sleep-deprived, through computer screen.
5) This May--and I emphasize may--provide work opportunities for a greater number of people. This basically requires two work forces--either a Sunday-Wednesday force overlapping with a Wednesday-Saturday force, or maybe something like a shift-work split for all businesses. 9-3, 3-9. Or hell, 6-12, 12-6, and 6-12. We'd be an 18-hour-a-day society.
Oh, wait--this is where I start to get all mad-scientisty about it, isn't it?
At an rate--yay Utah.
But hey, it's only 10:00 a.m. Check back at 11:00 to see how this moronic state has yet pissed me off again.
Saturday evening, after journeying down to SLC to photograph the home team getting shut out of the Arena Football League's first post-season playofff game (yeah, I know--it's big guys in pads hitting other guys in pads, and perhaps there's a potato-shaped ball involved--but still, they have these "playoffs"), I met some friends out in a little berg west of the city at something called the lympic Oval.
It's called the Olympic Oval because, honest to gaws, they hosted a portion of the 2002 Winter Olympic Games out here. It's about half the size of a football stadium but looks like it was built by contractors from the Andromeda galaxy. I'm trying to imagine what the parking situation was like out here during the big festivities.
At any rate, I met some folks out there to attend a roller derby match. Ever been to one of these? If not, let me simplify it for you: It's lipstick lesbians on skates chasing real lesbians on skates. Or vice versa. I get confused. I think I lost track on, oh, the EIGHT MILLIONTH TIME they all went in a little circle ten minutes into the first half of the game. Hell, there may not have even been any actual lesbians there. It's that confusing.
My game program featured a mostly-blank autograph page at the end. I used it to scribble down some questions I thought I might ask a few of the lovely ladies after they finished doing whatever it was that they were doing:
1. What is the fucking point of this game?
2. What are the fucking rules of this game?
3. How the fuck is there even a "penalty box"?
4. How the fuck do you tell if you're "winning"?
5. Seriously--what the fuck is going on here?
6. That's... that's just insane.
7. You bitches are scaring the shit out of me.
The best part of the whole thing was the "half-time" show. Among the home team's (two) sponsors is something called "Studio Soiree," which is basically a pole-dancing school for work-at-home moms. At any rate, guess where a school like this holds its "recitals"? Oh, you know it. Nothing classier than slo-mo pole dancing to Enya at the ol' roller derby.
Or is there?
We are taking direct fire.
Oh, holy shit. This is reason #759 I don't have kids: I forget shit. For example, I forgot I was was running a blog. This is no big deal. Forget you have a kid for three weeks, however--next thing you know, you're Britney Spears. But with skinnier ankles.
At any rate, it never fails, the depths to which celebrities will sink before one of their handlers is willing to step in and say, "maybe this just isn't your bag, baby." To whit: The uber-lovely Scarlett Johansen, seen here bludgeoning a perfectly good Tom Waits song to death:
How bored are the copy editors at the New York Times? See for yourself:
And thanks, W.Virginia, for being so forthcoming about your bass-akwards-ass racial "concerns." It's the first time anybody's paid two shits' worth of attention to your primary in 100 years, and what do you do? Dust off your "No Nigras Wanted" shingle. This puts the Dems in an interesting spot come November: Either a candidate who is just not going to carry the Sister-Kissin' states, or a candidate who somehow manages to come off as garnering more racist support than the conservative candidate. Whee! Happy upside-fucking-down day, everybody!
Despite my best efforts, my give-a-shitter is growing dangerously close to busting. I've given up hope that one candidate will absorb enough of the other's platform to mollify and/or galvanize the entire party--I'm just crossing my fingers and hoping enough people come around to appreciating what I pointed out a few posts ago: 2,700 appointments.
I think Truthdig described it as the "must-have" accessory for the Fall election season: Your own batshit-crazy "spiritual advisor."
But who does one turn to when Jerry Fallwell is no longer available (and by that, I don't just mean he's fallen off your Fav-5 on the cell phone)?
Well, just like a TV chef, sometimes, you gotta kick it up a notch. So, BAM!!! Meet Rod Parsley: Christian misanthrope to the stars.
Honestly, I hope this dude never shuts up. I hope he gets right out there, front and center, and lets eeeeeeveryone know how he feels. And I hope he's wearing a GOP lapel pin while he does it.
I will not be WorkFromHome-ing.
I will not earn $225 a Day and More!
I will not be meeting sexy local singles.
I will not be meeting local gay men.
I will not be testing/keeping a Dell computer.
I will not be a secret shopper.
I will not be earning free rewards.
I will not be getting a Free Apple Laptop!!!!!!!!!
I will not be helping MR CHARLES SOLUDU with his NEW DEVELOPMENT.
But thanks, junk mail folder, for keeping me in the loop.
So, the Utahrd Transit Authority recently brought their new light rail train route online. It runs from Ogden to Salt Lake City, and it is, despite their best efforts, I'm sure, a great idea. I-15, a 6- to 8-lane highway, is a regular nightmare between these two points: Clogged on the southbound ride in the morning, ditto coming north in the evening, for reasons I probably don't need to explain.
The new Frontrunner light rail is a great commuting solution. The train is comfortable, runs between 60-75 mph, has wi-fi access, and while it is $11 roundtrip for the whole route, it does at least save you the wear-and-tear on your car, not to mention cutting down on the smog. And SLC does have a pretty good public transit system itself. There's a northbound and southbound train every half hour. Not bad.
So I gets t'thinkin. This is basically the same situation in Kansas. For those not employed by the University, Lawrence is a bedroom community for many, many people who work in K.C., or, lord help them, Topeka. It's only about 70 miles between the two endpoints. A light rail system would be perfect for that stretch. See?:
And then I wondered how K.C.'s public transit system is working out.
Yikes. Greater Kansas City--and yes, by that I basically mean the Missouri side, looks like this:
With which, the KTA/MTA has chosen to do this:
But you know what all this needs? THIS:
Yes, I know. For someone who uses Photoshop for a living, I may leave a little to be desired, as far as being a draftsman goes. But look! Clockwise and counter-clockwise routes to take the mighty denizens of Kansas City in and out of the very heart of the city!
Now, okay, a BA in poli-sci and a MS in journalism doesn't exactly qualify to be a, you know, "city planner," but does anyone know how I'd get this frankenstein in motion?
Anyone?
